How To Let Yourself Like Things As A Girl With 3 Steps

By Mollie Hib

Just last year, Justin Bieber became the first artist to reach 90 million monthly listeners on Spotify. His smash-hit single ‘Baby’ was the highest certified single of all time, going 12x platinum in 2013. He received his first Grammy nomination at just 16 and has now amassed 22 nominations and 2 wins. These are incredible achievements for anyone in his field, so why were his fans ridiculed for their love for his music? Why were his singing capabilities always up for debate despite one of the most prestigious music award shows continuously praising his work? And why did I ever let my 10-year-old, Belieber-self, believe any of it?

After growing up with some self-hatred for the things I liked, I realised a truth too many girls have to face: people like to hate on things that girls like. 21-year-old graphic designer who preferred to be addressed by her alias, Molly, realised this when she noticed that her taste in everything from books to music, her favourites being Twilight and BTS, were ridiculed just because of their predominantly female fanbase. “When I was younger I felt ashamed of collecting the books even though it was a genuine thing that brought me joy,” she recalled.

So, how do you let yourself like things as a girl when it feels like the entire world is invalidating your interests? It’s easier said than done, but there are three truths that have helped me and some of the girls I’ve reached out to.

1. The more, the merrier: surround yourself with supportive people.

For law student and Korean pop and drama fan Henna Bhogal, she was shocked when she was faced with the reactions of her friends when she played BTS’ music. They would call her music taste bad, mock the way East Asians spoke, and brushed her off as a typical K-pop fan which they saw as “a teenage girl with a psychotic obsession,” she said. But she found comfort in her own family, who were supportive of her interests all the way, even enjoying a lot of her favourite songs, but more importantly, just happy because she found hobbies she could enjoy during a stressful university schedule.

Growing up a fan of Justin Bieber first, and then moving onto One Direction and BTS, I consistently found that supportive group of people online. On Tumblr, Twitter, and Instagram, I would be talking to people all over the world, bonding over our shared interests and live-tweeting our reactions to new albums. It was the same for Molly too, who would use her blog to post fanart and discuss her favourites with like-minded fans. Sure, some of these people may be people you’ll never actually meet in person, but seeing so many understand your interests and not belittle you makes everyone’s criticism feel a little less important after a while.

2. Ask yourself: am I doing anything wrong? Because you’re probably not.

It’s so easy to feel wrong when nobody seems to see the worth of your interests. After hurtful reactions from her friends, Henna mentioned that she would be reluctant to tell anyone what she listened to. But at the end of the day, are your interests hurting anyone? If they’re as harmless as a genre of music or a book you like, then why should you feel ashamed? If anything, what’s more harmful is the way people treat girls’ interests, not the actual interests.

Many of us don’t even realise that much of the hate is rooted in sexism until much later, and that was the case for Molly. It wasn’t until she was 17 and watching YouTube videos of women discussing misogyny that it clicked that her interests weren’t “odd” by any means- people were just hateful. “Be proud of the things that make you happy, especially if it’s something as inoffensive as fandom,” the graphic designer said.

3. You’re going to be judged regardless, why not have fun through it all?

Molly explained that although she has no more shame in what she loves now and she is past her teenage years, there’s still people, even family members, who say her music taste is “immature and not fit for her age”.

As for Henna, she realised that people pick and choose who and when they want to judge during the hype of Netflix’s Korean series, ‘Squid Game’. One of the friends who had mocked her interest in Korean pop culture, with both racist and misogynistic thinking behind his jabs, posted about his new-found love for the show. When he praised the actors for their good looks and acting skills, Henna thought “I placed too much importance on what he said”.

At the end of the day, you can’t please everyone. I know I had so much more fun dancing my heart out to what people would call terrible, auto tuned, bubble-gum pop music, than when I tried to hide that part of me. I hope that more young girls will refuse to hide that part of them, too.